Introduction: The BEST Negative Reviews of National Parks
Are these brutal 1-star reviews of America’s national parks valid critiques or totally absurd? When I think of national parks in America, I picture peaceful hiking trails, breathtaking views, and the natural beauty of our country’s diverse landscapes. However, not everyone shares that experience—some visitors see them as nothing more than mosquito-infested wastelands and WiFi dead zones. Yes, we’re talking about the most absurd and hilarious 1-star national park reviews. From disappointing visits to famous national parks to unexpectedly bad experiences in the great outdoors, we’ve rounded up some of the funniest negative reviews from national park visitors who were clearly expecting the Four Seasons but were instead greeted by, well… nature. Hometown Riot and I scoured the internet for the most oddly specific, baffling, and ridiculous 1-star reviews of America's national parks—some of which we've even turned into pretty sweet apparel. Let’s dive in!
Table of content
1. “If you like trees, it's cool, I guess.”
Yellowstone National Park
Location: Wyoming, Montana, Idaho
The Review: "If you like trees, its cool, I guess."
Our Take: We get it—you came to Yellowstone National Park for sweeping vistas, but those pesky trees blocked the view. Maybe I should write a strongly worded letter myself, questioning who had the audacity to fill America’s national parks with so much… nature. Next time, might I suggest a rooftop bar or a scenic café instead? That said, I do appreciate this reviewer taking the time to warn national park visitors about the horrors of too many trees. Even if they didn’t enjoy Yellowstone’s natural beauty, some of us still do. For that reason, I’d rate this 1-star review of Yellowstone National Park a solid 2 out of 5.
This review is part of Hometown Riot's National Park Review shirt collection. Celebrating bad reviews of good parks. Grab this one here!
2. “Grand Canyon? More like average canyon.”
Grand Canyon National Park
Location: Arizona
The Review: "Grand Canyon? More like average canyon."
Our Take: Ah, yes—one of the Seven Wonders of the World reduced to merely "average." I’m not sure which other canyons this reviewer is comparing the Grand Canyon to, but if this one is just average, I’d love to see those other canyons. As for this 1-star review of the Grand Canyon, I’m giving it a 1 out of 5—because if the reviewer thinks this iconic national park is underwhelming, I’m going to need them to point me toward a Grander Canyon.
Runner Up: “The Grand Canyon is just a hole.”
This review is part of Hometown Riot's National Park Review shirt collection. Celebrating bad reviews of good parks. Grab this one here!
3. "Too Much Sand.”
Indiana Dunes National Park
Location: Indiana
The Review: "Too much sand."
Our Take: This 1-star review of Indiana Dunes National Park might actually be more valid than the others—I mean, we can safely assume there’s a lot of sand in the sand dunes. And honestly, too much sand does sound inconvenient. For sheer accuracy, I’m giving this one a 3 out of 5.
Runner-Up: “Too much sand.” – White Sands National Park, NM
This review is part of Hometown Riot's National Park Review shirt collection. Celebrating bad reviews of good parks. Grab this one here!
4. “Horrible, prickly place in the middle of Hell.”
Joshua Tree National Park
Location: California
The Review: "Horrible, prickly place in the middle of Hell."
Our Take: This 1-star review of Joshua Tree National Park is by far my personal favorite. The reviewer really painted a vivid picture of a prickly hell-scape, and I had a truly visceral reaction to reading about their experience. Thank you, valiant reviewer, for your words of warning about one of America's most beloved national parks. For that reason, I’m awarding this review a 5 out of 5 for sheer entertainment value.
Runner-Up: “The sun was too hot.”
This review is part of Hometown Riot's National Park Review shirt collection. Celebrating bad reviews of good parks. Grab this one here!
5. “Waste of time and nature.”
Great Smoky Mountains National Park
Location: North Carolina, Tennessee
The Review: "Waste of time and nature."
Our Take: I’m so glad I came across this 1-star review of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park before planning my next trip. After all, the Great Smoky Mountains are also home to America’s own national treasure, Miss Dolly Parton. When planning my next adventure, one of my key requirements is that it not be a waste of nature. A waste of time I can handle, but a waste of nature? Never. I applaud this reviewer for not standing for it either. I’m giving this review a 4 out of 5 for its bold critique.
Runner-Up: “Bears Exist.”
This review is part of Hometown Riot's National Park Review shirt collection. Celebrating bad reviews of good parks. Grab this one here!
Wrapping Up
This list of my five favorite 1-star reviews of national parks is certainly entertaining, but it also reveals something about the deeper expectations we have for our natural world. The wild landscapes of America aren’t theme parks—they are unpredictable, wild (gasp!), and often uncomfortable. Keep these expectations in mind when planning your next adventure, and remember to leave no trace. National Parks don’t issue refunds when the lakes are too cold or when there are too many trees obstructing your view. But to say that I don’t love the hilarious and outlandish expectations people have would be a lie. Let’s all work to keep America beautiful and clean, and when you’ve found a Grander Canyon, please let me know in the Comments Below!
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